This week’s Academy Awards were beamed to over 100 countries worldwide. As a spectacle, and as an advertising environment – certainly in the USA – it’s been described as the Superbowl for women. New campaigns get launched; millons of dollars are spent on hugely expensive spots. One advertiser launching their new stuff was, apparently, JCPenney. Haven’t seen the ads yet but I’ve read a lot about them in the US trade media.

I guess I started reading about them because of the barely disguised cynicism in this first line from Ad Age’s report: “Want a richer, more inspiring life? Shop at JC Penney.”

The rest of Ad Age’s story relies heavily on quotes from new-ish CEO Myron E Ullman III (you couldn’t make that up), so this isn’t just their reporter twisting the knife. Good ol’ JC’s aiming to carve out a “deeper, more emotional and enduring” relationship with its customers. “Our customers want the moments in their lives to be more exciting and more meaningful,” Ullman is reported as saying, and their new Lovemarks-inspired telly ads from Saatchi were going to do this. Apparently.

I couldn’t help but dig out a hoary old favourite, The Cluetrain Manifesto, for some refreshing words in counterpoint. The start of the 95 Theses was all I needed:

1. Markets are conversations
2. Markets consist of human beings, not demographic sectors
3. Conversations among human beings sound human. They are conducted in a human voice

And then number 14:

Corporations do not speak in the same voice as these new, networked conversations. To their intended online audiences, companies sound hollow, flat, literally inhuman.

JCPenney’s telly ads are, of course, offline. A monologue rather than a dialogue, if you will. But I’ll leave you to ponder on the pomposity of a middle-America department store suggesting it will make your life more exciting and meaningful.

Now, I’m not just having a pop at Penney, at Ullman or even at Saatchi. I just saw this as an example of how people can get a bit carried away with the rhetoric, and attribute unbalanced importance to saying something (or advertising something) rather than Doing something.

In fact, JC Penney has been Doing plenty, for years now. Under Ullman and under previous CEO Allen Questrom, the previously tired retailer has staged a highly effective turnaround. And they’ve done it by changing the tangibles. Staff training and motivation have undergone a revolution. They’ve invested heavily in smart IT that works. They’ve built a huge online business. They’ve smartened up the stores and the merchandise.

They’ve done all the real stuff and it’s made a real difference. Revenue’s up, profits are up, customer spend and satisfaction are up.

I guess my point is, the house of JCPenney has been very successfully renovated this new millennium. However nice the new campaign is, isn’t it just a coat of new paint on the outside?

So, I hope everyone enjoyed the Oscars and that the new ads were as easy on the eye as a Hollywood starlet.

But I’d award the Oscar to all the real Doers at JCPenney.